Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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