I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize