Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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