I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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