found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My ass is underappreciated
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
