Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
