i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
