Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
