Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
