I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
