She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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