Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
