but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
