Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
