So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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