Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
