i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
