Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
whose ass print is on the piano?
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
