I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm jealous of your bromance
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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