So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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