After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
