He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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