I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
