I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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