At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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