I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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