I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
