bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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