you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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