Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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