i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
