jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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