i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
