I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
