she was so not down for the gang bang
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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