This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
