White coat. Heels.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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