I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
