I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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