His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
