she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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