# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
