I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
