This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize