i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is my gift to your gina
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
