Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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