I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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