the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
