I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
