Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
