Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize