So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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