Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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