Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
