I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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