Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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