She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
