You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
