Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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