She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
