The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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