I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
