I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
