just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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